The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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