Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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