why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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