You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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