that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
