i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
