he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
