Dual....:-)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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