so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
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Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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