I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Bring me that man meat
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
