So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
