I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
