The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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