you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize