i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
