I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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