Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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