so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
