AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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