I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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