U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
