I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
