His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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