so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
