Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
