I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
im on a boat
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