I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
