Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize