Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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