wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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