I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
