Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
