So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
