the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
