I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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