I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
