I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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