A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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