I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just cut my nipple shaving
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
