your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
