Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
