boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Never joke about your clitoris.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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