I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
