flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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