My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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