That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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