A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
