like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
