He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
