my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
