This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
