Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
