Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Is Oprah even human
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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