So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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