Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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