her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
