i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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