Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
