i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
