I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
