there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
