what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize