I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
