you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
